Harry Potter and the Search for Michael Jackson
by MriaMria
Summary: Oh yes you are in for a treat
1. DELORTED!

DELORTED! This is a series of chapters about our own Harry Potter, searching for the well known Michael Jackson. Yes. You are in for a treat. If that's what you would call it. This will be very amusing. As you might know.

chapter one:

**DELORTED!**

Harry Potter was sitting miserably in his room at the Dursleys. He stared at the blank wall, and the very hideous picture of Hedwig that he attempted to draw. Poor Hedwig always screeched when she saw it. Suddenly, he heard a loud boom. Then he heard Dudley's voice.

"MY MIND IS CONTROLED BY PENGUINS!"

And he heard Aunt Petunia respond:

"But Dudley dear, all the Penguins have been DELORTED!"

Then he heard Uncle Vernon shout:

"PENGUINS IS TEEH SUX!1111"

Harry didn't question this type of behavior, he learned it was best not to.

Harry woke up to the sound of 'The Wiggles' (a very disturbed kiddy show) on the downstairs television. But it kept him awake, because he knew that The Wiggles only came on in the morning, and not at 3:00 AM. But he had to know what was going on. It would be quite amusing to see Dudley watching it, because he would finally have something to tease him about.

He slowly got out of bed and tiptoed downstairs, avoiding the last step because it squeaks. He walked slowly into the kitchen, where he could see the light from the television, and the sound of the Fruit salad song was getting louder. But he noticed something different about this song. It wasn't its normal cheery kiddy tune, it sounded like it had gunshots in the back, and somebody with a weird accent screaming really loudly, "DELORTED!" He had to find out what this was.

He kept walking towards the living room, but accidentally kicked the cat that was sitting next to the cabinet. Yes. The cat randomly appeared. And as it randomly appeared, it gave a loud screech, not like Hedwig, but like a cat. The cat disappeared as suddenly as it appeared. And Harry slowly walked into the living room.

Harry couldn't believe his eyes. On the screen, he saw the original men who played as the Wiggles, but they were being viciously attacked by a guy with a very heavy looking machine gun, and he was a show that Harry had seen before on television, and he recognized the man as Jerry Seinfield. He was chasing the poor Wiggles around shooting the walls and the fruit salad bowl, screaming "I WILL DESTROY THE WORLD!" And he shot the Wiggle with the blue shirt, and screamed "DELORTED!" Harry watched in Terror. Somehow this seemed to be too real to be fake. Yes. I use grammar like that.

Not only was there a maniac Seinfield, but there were a few other characters he recognized. He saw Bernie Mac, in an apron and chef hat, making some fruit salad. He also saw another man next to Bernie who looked like the man who played Aragorn from the series 'Lord of the Rings'. He too was wearing an apron and chef hat. Bernie Mac and Aragorn were singing the Fruit Salad song, as if there was nothing going on around them. The poor blue Wiggle was lying motionless on the floor. Harry thought he saw what looked like a puddle of blood, but didn't want to jump to conclusion. _This has to be a dream…_ he thought. Seinfield was still running around with his heavy machine gun, chasing the rest of the poor exhausted Wiggles around the scene. Harry felt terrible. If only there was something he could do… Then he heard a loud laugh, that couldn't be mistaken. He knew who was watching the terrible show immediately.

Well how do you like it so far? Believe me. It will be funny. Sorry if the whole Wiggle thing creeped you out or something, me and my friend thought it was funny. Although if it was truely happening, of course it would be terrible. COMMENT TO TELL ME HOW LIKE IT!


	2. Oh Shut up Harry

I forgot to mention that I don't own any of the Harry Potter Characters, and all of that disclaimer stuff. And I definitely don't own Michael Jackson.

How did you guys like the first chapter? It was awesome wasn't it? Well here's the second chapter!

Chapter two:

**SHUT UP HARRY**

It was Hagrid.

Harry couldn't believe it. How could such a great loving person like Hagrid watch these poor kiddy show people being shot by a huge machine gun! It made no sense to Harry. Harry wanted to say something, but couldn't. But he didn't have to, because Hagrid noticed him.

"Oh! Er…. Harry! I was just watching um…. A video tape!"

Hagrid suddenly stopped laughing and waved his pink umbrella at the TV, and the video went off. Harry finally got the courage to speak.

"…Hagrid… What was that?"

Hagrid nervously answered, "Erm…. Well Harry, it was just a video that I rented from the Hogwarts library! Nothn' special." Hagrid waved his pink umbrella again, and the video shot out from the Dursley's VCR, and into Hagrid's huge hands, and he quickly shoved it into one of his many pockets in his gigantic coat. Then he stood up and said,

"But I don't want you or yer friends ever lookin' fer it! It's Hogwart's secret business that yer not to be meddelin' with!…. I shouldn't a told'ya that…"

"But Hagrid--"

"SHUT UP HARRY!"

Harry was stunned. Hagrid had never spoken to him like that, except for the time Harry asked him if he had fleas. Harry didn't know what to say. But Hagrid spoke instead.

"Erm… Sorry 'bout that Harry… I guess I needed that coffee more than I thought! Heh heh."

"…Hagrid? Can we just go?"

"Er… A 'course! Go Get yer stuff."

So Harry went upstairs and gathered everything except the hideous picture of Hedwig (which he put up on Dudley's door) and he slowly took it all down to Hagrid, who was waiting impatiently for him to finish. To Harry's surprise, the Dursleys hadn't made one noise while all of this was going on. How could they sleep through the violent murder of the Wiggles!

This had been the easiest time ever for Harry to get to Hogwarts! Usually there had to be some type of Magic involved. Maybe the Murderous Wiggle tape had Muggle sleeping powers? Harry didn't know. And as gruesome as the Wiggle tape was, Harry didn't want to know what it really did…

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okay, that's the end of the second chapter. And I wont write anymore if I don't get more than 7 reviews! So people, review!


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